Do Bass Players Get Girls?

About 16 years ago in the backseat of my best friends parents car is when it all started for me. I forgot exactly how the conversation began, but my friend’s mother said: “chicks love guitar players.” At the age of 14 desperate to attract women, I instantly decided to pick up the guitar for that very reason. But rather than getting all the girl at my high school for playing the guitar as I thought, I ended up finding my ultimate passion for playing music.

To make a long story short, I decided to switch to bass at the age of 17, and I’ve been playing out in multiple bands since. I’m 29 right now, and I’ve toured the vast majority of the U.S. and Canada numerous times. Looking back to how this whole thing started, the question to whether “women like bass players” popped in my mind on the way to perform in Washington D.C. tonight. 

From years of experience, I summarized the answer to whether or not “bass players get girls” to the very best of my ability.

Overall, the vast majority of women don’t care what instrument you play or whether or not you play an instrument at all. Playing bass or any type of instrument may be a plus to some women but nothing near a deciding factor in today’s age. However, in my experience, performing shows as a bass player is an indirect way of showcasing yourself and gaining status to all of the women in the club. The women who do find you physically attractive will typically compliment your performance after the show for an easy conversation starter. On the flip side, starting a conversation with a woman, you’re attracted to after the show becomes much more accessible.

Does The Way You Perform Live Help Attract Women?

In a broad way of looking at it, there are two types of musicians; (1) Musicians who perform with passion, (2) Musicians who don’t perform with passion.

Of the 14 years of playing shows and the 50+ bands and artists, I have been with, from what I saw it was only the passionate performers who got female attention. I have never seen any women show any recognition for the singers and musicians of any instrument who showed no passion for performing live. In other words, boring stick figure musicians didn’t get the girls after the gig.

I’m not an expert of understanding how women think at all. But from my understanding, many women find it attractive when a man has a passion. If your a dull stick figure on stage, subconsciously, some may automatically transfer that to your personality without realizing it.

Do Women Prefer A Drummer, Guitarist, Or Singer Rather Than A Bassist?

I’m not entirely sure why, but singers do get the majority of the women’s attention. It may be a subconscious belief that the frontman holds more status or some women may be attracted to a good voice? However, I have also witnessed bands where other members get more attention besides the singer. This goes back to the overall answer that performing on stage is a more natural way to showcase the audience. Individual band members may be more initially attractive than the singer.

Although many women will be more physically attracted to a specific band member, it falls flat if you don’t have inner confidence or know how to talk to women. Learning to talk to women with true inner confidence naturally is the ultimate key. Performing live is just an easier way to start a conversation.

If Your In A Band Specifically To Get Chicks, Your Wasting Time

Being a generally short guy, I do understand the difficulties of attracting women and any little thing that can help HELPS. However, the music business, the sacrifice, and the journey itself are not worth a second of your time if you’re specifically in it to get women. The hours put into learning an instrument can best be used for self-development. Being the very best person, you can possibly become will help you attract women 20 times over playing an instrument. As a matter of fact, I never attracted any women at all at any of my shows until I started working on becoming the very best self I can be.

Self-Development For Starters

  • Working Out- Builds core confidence which is the ultimate attraction for women, increases your mood by increasing BDNF waves in your brain, makes you feel better for having a better time (women are attracted to the fun guy), lastly, a good body may help.
  • Meditation- Helps bring you present to the moment and comfortable in your own body. It doesn’t matter the gender, a critical factor in attraction is engagement with that person your into. While talking to the girl, are you fully engaged with strong eye contact while present to the moment? Or are you scatterbrained with little eye contact? In my experience, a woman will prefer a much less attractive man who will fully engage with her than a more attractive man who doesn’t. Don’t be fooled, I am in no way shape or form telling you to be needy. Engagement and neediness are entirely separate.
  • Learn to talk with women and better understand how they actually think- It’s impossible for me to summarize this. However, if this subject interests you, I strongly recommend taking a look at Tyler from RSD on youtube Here.
  • Working Out- Builds core confidence, which is the ultimate attraction for women. It increases your mood by increasing BDNF waves in your brain. It also makes you feel better for having a better time (women are attracted to the fun guy). Lastly, a good body may help.
  • Meditation- Helps bring you present to the moment and comfortable in your own body. It doesn’t matter the gender, a critical factor in attraction is engagement with that person your into. While talking to the girl, are you fully engaged with strong eye contact while present to the moment? Or are you scatterbrained with little eye contact? In my experience, a woman will prefer a much less attractive man who will fully engage with her than a more attractive man who doesn’t. Don’t be fooled; I am in no way shape or form telling you to be needy. Engagement and neediness are entirely separate.
  • Learn to talk with women and better understand how they actually think- It’s impossible for me to summarize this. However, if this subject interests you, I strongly recommend taking a look at Tyler from RSD on youtube Here.

What To Do After A Show To Attract Women

(1) As soon as the show is over, pack up your gear into the vehicle as fast as you can. (2) If you sweat a lot like me, change your shirt and dry your hair off. It doesn’t matter how well you performed, or how much of a ladies man you are, the chances of a woman talking to a very sweaty stranger for too long is a bit rare. (3) Walk in the venue, grab a drink if you drink to calm your show adrenaline, and socialize with everybody.

You may be wondering why I suggest socializing with everyone. Unless you’re incredible at instantly cold opening a woman (walking right up to them), it works very well for me who is a bit more on the shy side to have friendly conversations with whoever approaches you about the show.

Socializing in the club while having a great time not only makes you easily approachable, but women are attracted to the fun guy. Yes, we all wish women were attracted to the nice guy rather than the fun guy. However, contrary to mainstream media and Hollywood movies, most women in the club prefers the fun guy over the nice guy any day.

After the show, when you the musician socializes with everybody in the club while having a good time, it makes you easily approachable to women who found you attractive on stage. This is not suggesting that every girl who approaches you initially finds you attractive. Some women may not be in the market or only wanted to give you a quick compliment, and that’s it.

Check Out Our Shirts For Musicians

To Sum It All Up

Many women may find it a plus that you either play bass, sing, or play any other type of instrument. However, it is in no way a deciding factor for triggering attraction. Performing live makes it easier to approach or be approached by women after the show for a much easier conversation starter. Everybody is different, but if you ask me, starting a conversation with a woman you are attracted to is the hardest part.

On a side note outside of playing music, if you’re interested in attracting women, I highly advise you to check out Tyler from RSD on youtube. Not only does he teach “dating” but he is by far the absolute best self-development teacher on the face of this planet hands down. I dedicate 80% of my success in life to him. If the term “self-development” scares you due to other teachers repeating random positive slogans that really get you nowhere, I implore you to give Tyler from RSD a shot.

If you’re interested in the best wireless bass systems, I implore you to view our 3 top picks here.